may: not what i expected
May 27, 2011 § 6 Comments
the first of may i noticed a swollen lymph node on my neck and thought i must be getting sick with the same throat thing liza had the week before. minus the sore throat and fever. by the end of the week i looked like i had swallowed a nerf football, had seen 4 different doctors and my dentist, was on 3 antibiotics, 3 rounds of steroids, had an ultrasound and was not getting better. the next week i had a mri which revealed under all that swelling (which thankfully had started to recede) was a mystery growth/mass/tumor. on to an ent who scheduled a biopsy which revealed “inconclusive” results, not a benign cyst but not sure what it is.
at this point, david and i decided to do what we have advised so many others to do in the 15 years since he had cancer, seek the expert care at md anderson cancer center in houston. we have been praying for clear direction and wisdom on discerning what is going on. when i spoke with mda one of the things they said in response to my uncertainty, was that they would “figure out what is going on. we will give you a clear diagnosis. and we love to tell people they don’t have cancer.” we leave on sunday and are excited to stay with david’s brother and spend time with our dear friends in the woodlands. that is a wonderful blessing in the midst of this. i will be updating here on my blog from houston. i am so grateful for the many, many prayers. through them He is sustaining us with His love and peace.
may has certainly not been what i expected. and i am not sure what the next week will hold for us. but i am sure of more important things.
i am sure of God and His relentless, amazing love for us. (romans 8 :38-39)
i am sure of His sovereignty over all things. (psalm 103:19)
i am sure i will struggle and i am sure He will meet me there with His grace. (2 cor. 12:9, hebrews 4:16 )
i am sure that He has tremendous beauty and blessing to be revealed in this unknown, often dark road. (isaiah 45:3)
i am sure of His peace that surrounds me which i don’t generate or even understand. (isaiah 26:3, phil. 4:6-8)
and i am sure that He is good and i can trust Him completely.
“i trust in you, LORD;
i say, “You are my God.”
my times are in your hands.”
psalm 31: 14-15a